Wedding Thank You’s — It’s All About the Celebration
Tags: Greeting Card Etiquette, Thank you cards, Thank you notesI was recently married and now I am writing my Thank you cards, I am finding out several guests did not give a gift of any kind, am I obligated to send them a Thank you any way (just for coming to my wedding)? I did have a couple of people come up to me at my wedding and told me they forgot our gift and would get it to me later, well later has come and gone and I never did receive anything. I think these people did forget, should I remind them? And again do I send them a Thank you, because if they did forget and don’t get a Thank you they will think that I have no manners and was just looking for the gift?
-anonymous
The short answer is yes, you should send thank you cards to everyone who attended your wedding.
Some of your guests may have been rather strapped for cash at the time of your wedding. Some of the “we’ll send the present along later” folks may have genuinely forgot, and some of them may have been having financial hardships and been embarrassed to share details. You just don’t know, and you certainly don’t want to remind them they did not get you a gift if they can’t afford it. (And there is a lot of people with financial hardships these days…no matter what their outside appearances may be.)
The primary purpose of having a wedding is to celebrate a joyous event in the new couple’s life, and to gather together all the friends and loved ones to celebrate. People these days have busy lives, and it takes a lot for people to get together. Guests at a wedding are not required to give a gift. Sure it’s a nice thing to do, but it is not a mandatory thing. Their presence is their best present to the couple.
The primary purpose of wedding thank you cards is to thank everyone for making time to celebrate the couple’s nuptials. If they happened to give the couple a gift in addition to that, then the thank you should also include a note regarding the gift as well. CardsDirect thank you cards can be personalized to save you quite a bit of handwriting and provide a nice variety to match any new couple’s tastes. Best wishes to the bride and groom!
stoja
January 18th, 2008 at 6:36 pm
I think it’s rude to come to a wedding and not give a gift. the couple spends alot of time and money trying to make this an eventful day for the people they are inviting.
You stated “their presence is their gift”. That quote is lame considering the fact that they came, they ate, they drank and they merrily left with cake. The married couple starting out is left with debt because the friends they invited didn’t care to even give them a card expressing their joy for the couple. A friend or anyone who comes to your wedding with no card or gift is no longer a friend. Everyone can afford a gift. What you ate that night you would have to pay to eat elsewhere so unless you’re a homeless person on the street you need to bring a gift. it’s the only right thing to do.
Ms. Cards Etiquette
January 21st, 2008 at 10:50 am
The question from anonymous above asked if she should remind people to give a gift after the wedding.
While Ms. Cards Etiquette certainly recommends bringing a gift to a wedding for the reasons you mentioned above, it is not mandatory. And, I certainly do not support the bride and groom *asking* for a gift after the fact should someone forget.